So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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