on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
