i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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