he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We talked him into tasing himself.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
