I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
