Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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