You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
