I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
