Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
