I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
