Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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