So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I need a beard to bite.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
