its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
