I am spending my child support on dildos
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
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