To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
