I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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