Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
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