We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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