i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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