what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
