Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
