Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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