No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
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