false alarm. still invincible.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
