His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I cut my penus on the lid.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
