Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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