you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize