that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
