Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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