I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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