just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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