she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
