Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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