What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
