if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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