I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
