Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
