i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
