The best revenge is premature balding
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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