yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
