hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
two words: eviction party
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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