i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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