I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
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