Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I checked into jail on foursquare
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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