I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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