There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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