Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
