my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
