He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Define "chronic" masturbator.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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