She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
