He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
