is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
