I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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