she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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