Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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