So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
