I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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