you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
