I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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