No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
