It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize