Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
