Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
