There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
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