They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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