Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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