dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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