Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize