just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
