You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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