Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
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Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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